Dec. 4- 2002

Today was a very COLD day here in NYC. I couldn't take it-- It made me realize that I don't want to do this anymore. It is just such a difficult life. I love to train people-- but, since I train independently, I have to run all over the place. I am not at just one gym-- I am at several different locations.

I had a realization. I want to go back to school and learn web design. I would like to help other fitness / bodybuilders create websites and help them update their sites etc... that is what I want to do. I like to be creative and use my brain in other ways. I want to help people in other ways- I need a change in my life. I am going to start taking classes as soon as I can. I am looking at the New School in Manhattan. Hopefully - they will have something in the evening or weekends that is accelerated so that I can skip all the intro stuff. I know basically what I am doing- but, I want to have a more organized pattern of thought.

I had a great leg workout today. I met with Kara ( from HBO) we talked about my decision not to do Nationals. I am most probably going to give the USA one more try. I hope that it will finally be my year. We will see.