Oct. 27th-2002

I have to apologize for missing my online chat tonight, I have been so sick this past week. I had all intentions of making it- but I fell asleep. I really am sorry. I am on antibiotics to get rid of this sinus infection. I also have a chest cold- so, it is really causing me extreme fatigue. I am forcing myself to go to the gym- which is adding to my already existing low resistance. I am just trying to get into shape for photo shoots as well as-- hopefully- making it to National's.

I have faced many battles these past few months. My training was going so great after the USA. I was feeling strong and excited about being in the gym. Then- I hurt my back. That put me out for over a month. I have been dealing with continuous left shoulder pain which comes and goes. Then- I get sick. Just when my back started to feel better- I got this sinus infection. Life is just all about struggles, I have to admitt -- I work well under pressure. But- it is no way to live.

I am so excited to have a year off after National's. I want to go back to dancing. I am going to take ballet and modern dance classes again. I can't wait. I miss it so much. I used to dance 5 days a week when I was growing up. I need a break from competition. I will still train- but, since I won't have to do cardio- I will be able to go to dance classes instead.

I hope to be able to perform with a small modern dance company. I need that outlet. I need a change in my life. I will finish out this competition season. If I look as good-- hopefully better- than the USA's-- I will compete at National's. But- if not- I will sit it out. Once January rolls around- I am enrolling in dance classes. I am so excited about it.